Roaring Corgi

And even though we see you weekly WE SHALL BARK

The dogs love to bark. Haha! Wait what? They do? That's crazy. Right.

It's like someone stopped them in an alley and said hey kid, if you get me an everlasting gobstopper, I'll-- oh wait that's a movie. It's like someone stopped them in an alley and said hey dogs, if you bark at anyone all the time I'll give you lots and lots of peanut butter.

We have gardeners that ...garden? outside in our community EVERY Wednesday. This has not changed ever, it's always happened, it's not a freak incident. 

Today - Wednesday - the gardeners are outside minding their own business, doing their thing with the lawn mower, and the dogs are inside screeching, barking, crying, growling - all the annoying sounds in their entire repertoire. 

It's as if they have never seen/heard them before. It's as if these guys haven't been out there EVERY WEEK for TWO YEARS.

<chuckle> Oh those silly animals <Looks around for something to smother them with>

Love them!

Horses Update: Something I avoided talking about.

I have avoided talking about this because my feelings are torn. I had been leasing and riding Rocky the a$$hole horse for almost 2 years and really, I <3 him for some sick, unhealthy reason.

He has tried to bite me countless times (as that second photo proves as he tries to bite me and I am telling him NO for the 465th time), has bucked in the arena with angst aimed at me (he doesn't even have to tell me, I just know), has even thrown me into a fence, albeit that wasn't his fault.

As a recap read here, and here.

When we go out on trail he rears up and tries to bolt, he's scared of EVERYTHING but acts like a bully and I effing love him so much. WTH right?

I have this sick magnet that draws retarded animals into my life. Even without Rocky, Crazy Dog is evidence enough. It's a super power I would gladly give up. Really. Someone take it please. I'm exhausted from the emotional toll it takes on me.

But back to the horse thing. I stopped riding. For a while anyway. Reasons are many, but mainly I diagnosed myself with mild PTSD from my meeting of the fence. It took months of riding to not have constant replays in my head of the fence rushing up to my face. I would experience anxiety every time I thought of riding. I am certain Rocky picked this up and he took advantage, as he is wont to do. He then proceeded to threaten me every time we rode, with popping up and rearing and well, I decided that I couldn't keep risking injury (or worse) by riding him until at least I was over this trauma. At the same time Rocky was being used for these other classes that were extremely frustrating to him. They involved him walking around in circles while kids led him on a rope and sat on him kicking him. Basically. Who wouldn't be pissy?

Unfortunately he was taking it out on me.

I couldn't admit that to my instructor though - she would never believe me anyway, after all it was her class with the kids - and decided it was easier to go with the "saving for a house" defense, which isn't altogether untrue.

Because it was an emotional situation for me to clear out my tack box and move on, I needed to ride a horse that was NOT Rocky to prove I could still do it.

And boy was that ever cathartic. I rode two other horses, Freckles and Bear (people I DO NOT name these animals. These names are ridiculously stupid). And I could move around the arena beautifully with them! It was amazing! How could this be so easy?!

Must be because I was riding the horse equivalent of a mix between Crazy Dog and a 7-year old angsty boy with ADHD. Right. That's why.

Somehow I don't feel so bad anymore. And the PTSD will go away. In time. I hope to find another stables nearby where I can ride a nice easy horse that would enjoy the attention. Hey, if anyone knows someone with that horse, I'm all ears.

More Rocky/riding images here in case you care and if don't then I don't that you don't.

CUTEFEST 2009

I don't even need to talk about it. Just WATCH it. I almost puked sprinkled cupcakes.

Soup!

I decided to make homemade veggie soup last night and threw cauliflower, carrots, celery, parsnips, potatoes, tomatoes, onions, and garlic into a crock pot and am hoping for a miracle. No idea if the soup will be good but apparently the pups were walking on their tippy toes trying to figure out WHERE THE FOOD WAS HIDING. By the way, thanks for asking, the vaca was great. I plan to update in more detail soon.

Mathematicals

Talking to my partner today... he got a raise, which is good seeing as how we want to buy a house next year. Money - yay!

Him: I got my raise today.
Him: X% (see the X is a real number in real life but we aren't braggarts like that.
Us --> humble. By the way did you SEE my new computer?! It's awesome. And expensive.) (Not really.) (The computer I mean.)
Me: Yay!
Me: Wait, what is that in dollars?
Me: math + me = awesome
Me: SEE HOW I DID AN EQUATION?!

I tend to put things in perspective. And lighten the situation usually. It's my value-add.

No REALLY I could use the vet bill donations OR WHEN HEARTWORMS ATTACK! Tonight at 7!

It's like red paperclip except I will exchange with you all kinds of good thoughts and maybe some hugs for cold, hard cash for my animals.

Fine.

How about I'll trade you Crazy Dog for money? What?! You heard what about him? That he is insane? Hahahaaha... heh.. that's just a JOKE. heh. <clears throat>

I decided to put my dogs back on heartworm medication because they have been off for over a year - I know. Why now? Well apparently there were TWO CASES OF HEARTWORM LAST SUMMER.  And previously there were... zero. Which means the threat has gone up 200%.

For those of you who do not have the drudgery wonderful, butterflies and bubblegum experience of owning dumb animals like dogs, let me just fill you in.

1. The medications require a prescription. Now. Dogs are considered property, not creatures. Meaning, if I gave my dog to a friend to watch and they decided to not give it back, I would thank them I wouldn't be able to make them give it back without going to court for property issues. So naturally you would need a prescription to give them something to eat. W.T.F.

2. I have to take Crazy Dog in to get a physical because he hasn't seen a vet in a while on account that he tends to maul their faces into little bits of fat and gristle. I think it means he likes them. I have to pay $59 to that vet for that honor. For one dog. Only him. SOLO UNO PERRO PEOPLE. <--that's spanish at work yo.

3. Roxy avoids this charge because she spends 35% of her life at the vet. She should have a punch card.

4. I also have to get blood tests done for BOTH dogs in order to make sure they don't have heartworm before I get the medication that prevents heartwor--wait a damn minute. That makes no sense you say? Yes well allegedly if the dog does have heartworm and you give the medicine it will kill them. KILL THEM. Right. Haha. You got me! No idea! What in the world?

5. Then I get the honor of paying $25 per month to keep them non-heartworm infested. I was ready to give up until my partner pointed out that if they did get heartworm it would cost a hell of a lot more to save them <kicks ground> So I guess it only makes sense.

Donation checks can be made out to Breanne Boyle. Thank you.

I am now taking donations in order to pay vet bills.

Roxy split her leg open or something as equally retarded. I mean what is that animal thinking?

"Oh well I haven't seen that scary vet guy that I hate in about 2 months - TIME TO INVENT A REASON."

She was licking her leg the other day until I noticed and saw there was what looks like a hole in her skin. How she got a perfectly round hole in her skin is beyond me, but then again I don't understand a  lot of what that dog does:
- Chase loud cars
- Lick Crazy Dog's face even though he looks like will explode in a homicidal rage if she licks him one. more. time.
- Run through a screen door
- Scoot a bed
- Attack windshield wipers

And those are just a few. I had to deal with this dumb hole so I put neosporin on it and wrapped it in painter's tape, because why on earth would I have something practical like bandage wraps lying around. BTW, the tape worked like a charm, and didn't even pull hair!

Then yesterday I come home and Crazy Dog is rubbing his ear so deeply against his own foot that he is falling over in ecstasy. Seriously. It was obscene. I looked and well, don'tcha know! He has an ear infection! Apparently it comes in pairs.

I cleaned it out with some q-tips (I KNOW I am not supposed to do that but bite me) and when I was doing that CD fell against my leg and started kicking his leg and grunting. People. I felt so... used. 

Moral? Don't get hurt and you wont have to wear that stupid cone of shame anymore Roxy.

Wrinkly Faces and Grape Tomatoes

Just have to post this picture. Plus I need a few more posts to push the poop picture off the front of my blog. This dog was at a recent dog show I attended. I mean what else can you do with this face other than SQUISH IT TOGETHER?

If I owned this animal all I would do is find things to squish into the folds.

Crayons.

Grape tomatoes.

Four Leaf Clovers.

Baby chicks.

Then I would take pictures and paste them on my blog called www.awesomethingstostuffinawrinklydogface.com 

Don't actually go to that web site!! It's about murdering kitties! I was kidding. It's really porn. Haha. Just kidding. Totallykidding. It's really the murdering kitties one.

Roxy and the Flinging Poop

Today was sort of an adventure day I guess. And it's only 11. <sigh> Life with a corgi is always on full throttle.

This morning my partner took the pups out to potty like usual.Crazy Dog always gets to go first, because Roxy just sometimes needs to WAIT for something. God forbid.

While CD was out doing his thing, a bunny was flushed from a bush. Dear god the bunnies around here. They are like flies. Shoo one away, another is there. So it runs omg so faaaaast to get away from Crazy Dog, who only saw it after it was too late for him to do anything, but he needs to make a show of growling and giving chase anyway.  I was holding Roxy so she could watch CD while he was out there, because well, its her pack and she NEEDS. TO. KNOW. WHERE. THEY. ARE. ALL. THE. TIME.

But the oh the bunny. She shrieks in my arms because CD is growling and there is a BUNNY! LET ME GET THE BUNNY!

Then, after that is over, she goes out. And while in her poop squat people, she sees/hears a motorcycle go by. This is a new habit she is developing that I am not happy about - growling and barking and running after loud vehicles. See truly she is scared of them, but in her little peanut brain she does this:

Loud engine = scary. If I then proceed to chase that loud thing away, no one will realize I'm scared! Genius! 

It's a dangerous thing to develop. Especially for a breed of dog that doesn't like to let things go. Meaning if she was off leash (we NEVER do this) and a bunny ran away from us, we would never see Roxy again. Ever. <thinks...> Wait just a minute... this might be a great plan actually. I would never do that.

So the motorcycle. Right. She is pooping remember? And she runs. While pooping. Poop is flinging everywhere. Because why do one thing at a time when you can MULTITASK.

Text n00b

My partner doesn't like to text, because he has a phone he stole from Zack Morris and hello, it doesn't DO ANYTHING other than make calls. wtf. Who want's a phone like THAT?

So he always complains when people text him. And I am forever saying, you know that "new every two" plan you are on? Yeah you have like a million credits. GET A NEW PHONE.

He messages me today:

Him: your brother is "bored at work" so he's texting me
Me: really?
Him: i don't want to be rude, but texting on my phone sucks ass
Him: so i'm not really interested in it
Me: tell him that
Him: it takes too damn long to type that!!!
Me: lol
Me: say txting on my phn sux
Him: that would take like two minutes
Me: omg
Me: you are a baby
Me: GET A NEW PHONE
Me: want me to txt him from MY phone to tell him?
Him: yes!
Me: omg

So I did.