We had our first official get together at the new house this past weekend. If you weren't invited it probably means we don't like you.
Crazy Dog and Roxy were in attendance of course.
Crazy Dog only tried to maul three people that I saw. One totally deserved it (talking to you Dominic). He actually grabbed CD from behind and rubbed him vigorously and talked silly to him. I think he didn't believe us when we said the ticket to survival was to PRETEND HE ISN'T THERE.
On other news, recently the dogs have been staying in their crates when we leave. They don't seem to want to leave them. This is a far cry from the day when we had to forcefully shove Crazy Dog into his before we left.
From my partner today: Him: i almost killed the dogs today Him: neither of them would come out of their crates when i was leaving Him: i dragged roxy out, dragged [crazy dog] out, and while i was doing that roxy went back in her crate Him: closed [crazy dog]'s door, dragged roxy out, and while i was doing that [crazy dog] was trying to figure out how to go back in Me: hahaha. i wonder why? Him:because they are satan
Roxy was feeling bad this weekend - the typical loose pooping kind of thing. We shoved one of the many, expired pills we still have leftover from other such bouts of this. Didn't work.
Today I came home to an explosion of dog poop in her crate, on her pillow/bed, on her blanket, on her, on the carpet, in the curtains (haha! we don't have curtains. if we did it would have been there).
I opened the crate ready to pull her out and propelled herself out of the crate. She probably spent hours in this state of mind:
OMG THAT IS SHIT ALL OVER ME. GROSS GET IT AWAY.
But she was trapped. So she launched out of her crate into my arms. My now poopy arms. Yum!
I carried her outside where she promptly poooooooooooooooooooooped some more. A lot more. This time it had blood in it.
hfjkeshfjsdkhfjsdklahfjksadlfjklsdajflksa
Now we need to see a vet. Dammit dog. If the blood wasn't there I would have medicated you with whatever was lying around. Now. Now we have to pay someone to do the same thing.
All so you won't die of either dehydration, blood loss, or both.
New town - new vet. I was all happy they quoted me on the phone before I even went.
Then they charged me for extra stuff they didn't tell me about. So the bill went from $90 I expected to $260 an hour later.
Verdict: This dog probably is prone to Giardia infections.
I COULD HAVE PAID ME $269 TO TELL ME THAT. This is her 4th time having it after all.
So no more camp for the poor pup. It seems to happen right after she goes. <sigh> It's not like she did anything anyway. Wasted money.
Forevermore, her name shall be "Money Pit"
Money Pit and Crazy Dog. (hugs self in a self pitying way) I love them so much (gasps)
Money Pit got three prescriptions. I gave her the one that looked and smelled like bubble gum syrup. She hated it. She would. Because it was actually yummy.
We have three rooms that have wallpaper of some kind in this house. Granted, two are bathrooms and one has just a wallpaper border, but it might as well be the whole house papered in Republican propaganda - THAT is how much it bothers me.
I mean this is what I was working with (like Monet's poor, unsophisticated little sister vomited on wallpaper):
I have been reading many articles online about how to remove paper. Apparently there are 274 ways to do this. And EVERY way is THE RIGHT WAY. From buying/renting huge steaming machines that burn the bejesus out of your hands, to using harsh chemicals, to mixing fabric softener and water, to all other sorts of weird concoctions.
The best one I found ultimately was this one. One, she cracked me up. Points. Two, she only used water. I liked the idea of not using anything harsh on the walls.
So I went to Lowe's (or, I mean my new best friend but only when they actually have what I need which definitely isn't always oh, hello, Home Depot!) and I bought scraper, and a scoring tool, and a good water bottle. Also. Since I was there and I can't really leave unless I spend $4000 dollars in one trip (I think that's contractual), I also got new curtains for the media room/office, new curtain rod, and some plants to hang up on our patio. Then, well oh sh!t I realized I need hooks for those plants so I got those (called "screw eyes" to you hardware virgins) and then that reminded me how I want to hang the coffee mugs in our kitchen cabinets so I got some cup hooks as well (called "cup hooks." I know. So simple!). Since I reached the minimum amount I was okay to check out.
Then.
Oh then. <crying>
The wallpaper removal commenced.
Scoring was sort of fun.
I got all my tools and accessories together (ignore my poor taping job. The next time I moved it I did it better I swear.):
Then I spent like 30 minutes with it. And this was all I did:
It went faster after that initial push.
Things I learned (read: tips you should put to use should ever be insane enough to do this - but you should because wallpaper is UGLY):
- The wetter the wallpaper, the easier to take down.
- often really lazy people who live here before you won't take down the previous wallpaper and will paper over it, thus causing you to have to remove TWO LAYERS.
- wallpaper is stupid.
- I don't get the satisfaction from pulling it off the wall like I think some people would. Sure, I'm glad it's down, but it reminds me too much of peeling skin, which means I tried really hard not to let it remind me of peeling skin.
- For those of you that like to peel your own or other people's skin (all you people that went to summer camp with me) - you will probably LOVE doing this.
- wallpaper really is very stupid.
And then, I filmed an update of the house so everyone could see the new(ish) stuff. Yay?
This weekend we have been doing yard work, like the mighty home owners we are now. I know. It's disgusting how cool we are.
Things I learned in this new adventure of owning a backyard.
I bought a hedge trimmer. they are AWESOME:
Bees DO NOT like it when you trim the bush they are in/on. In fact they get really quite mean about it.
Hedge trimming and general yard work is like 3 trips to the gym. Which means I need to eat some ice cream and potato chips to make up for it.
Roxy does NOT like the hedge trimmer. She and the bees should hang out. They can be mean girls together.
Crazy Dog, however, LOVES the hedge trimmer. He is afraid of stairs but thinks the hedge trimmer is his buddy. COULD I HAVE ANY MORE EVIDENCE FOR YOU THAT IS HE INSANE? In fact, I could barely hedge lower bushes without yelling at him every second to get out of the damned way. First time it nicks him he'll learn I guess.
Crazy Dog (also!) loves outside. I know:
Crazy Dog likes to lay in dirt. I KNOW:
And that scary gremlin statue was apparently "meh" as well.
You heard the stairs story. But you didn't hear about how Roxy has now figured out that to Crazy Dog the stairs need to only be traversed in one bolt of lightning speed, no stopping, no slowing, all the way to the top.
I'll do it for her: wicked corgi chuckle
A conversation with my partner: Me: watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zJv0gssH2s&NR=1 Me:: i WISH that worked Him: THAT is a dumb animal Him: oh, reminds me, so hilarious Him: so roxy knows now that [CD] doesn't like to stop on the steps Me: haha really? Him: yesterday before bed [CD] was at the bottom of the steps and i was reading in the chair Him: and he kept bitching Him: so i look and he wants to go up the steps Him: but roxy is laying on like the 5th one up Me: hahaha Him: and he knows he can't get by her Me: did she know? Him:: yeah, she was totally on to what she was doing Me: hilarious
