I saw a quote on Facebook today that said, "They should make an alarm clock that sounds like my dog puking. Nothing gets me out of bed faster." So true.
I was doing some work and editing essays on the couch, when I hear the sound of Crazy Dog starting to puke. It's a very distinctive sound. Like a weird gulping deep in his throat. If you've heard it, you know what I mean.
When we hear it we are like this. So we leap up from our seats and chase him toward the back door, where I fumble with the latch to open it. He launches vomit onto the rug by the door and then then across the threshold as I fling the door open. He then trails vomit across the patio as he bolts to the grass. I mutter some expletives and then my partner and I start to clean up the mess.
I then look up and see Crazy Dog, now feeling much better after vomiting, nonchalantly lift his leg and pee on our outdoor fire pit. He has never done that before. Now seems like a great time. Like a way to say, "THANK YOU!"
I scream at him, "NO!! NOOOOO!!!"
He didn't even look at me. He just finished his business and trotted away.
What a jerk.
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